used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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