you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
