I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
