Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
