Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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