Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The ass gains better be worth it
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