she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
