You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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