where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She tied me up with her honor cords...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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