State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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