If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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