positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
