apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
