Sry I called you an 8
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
