does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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