Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
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I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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