Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
