I want to walk on stilts...naked
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize