How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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