I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
