At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
