Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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