Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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