We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wish you could order shots online.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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