the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize