one two three fourrrrnication!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize