I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
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tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
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The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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