No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize