I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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