cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
