Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
