question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize