Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
