as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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