apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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