He is such a slut. More and more my type.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬