When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize