Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
