i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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