I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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