ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
