For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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