even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
