She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
