Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
