I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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