why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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