he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
