how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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