dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
