I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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