i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
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I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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