Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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