the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
