You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
