Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
