She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
